Look both ways, or else

When crossing the street remember these three things: 1. Always look both ways 2. Hold hands 3. Sneaky Jesus always gets to push the button.  Always.

99 cent stores be warned... When the apocalypse goes down, you will be first!

  Unbelievable... They have hundreds of these candles at the store and Sneaky Jesus hasn't seen a single cent for having his picture on them.  This angers Sneaky Jesus... They will be hearing from his lawyer.

The Light of the World

My dad said "let there be light".  What the fuck does your dad do?

photo courtesy of Ken Doll

Take it easy...

Even Sneaky Jesus needs to take time out of his busy day of sneakin' and creepin'  to stop and smell the flowers.

Sneaky Jesus says, "Check yourself before you electrocute yourself".

Sneaky Jesus only wants you to be safe. If you try to go in there, Sneaky Jesus will be forced to palm strike you.

You better not be watching what Sneaky Jesus thinks you're going to be watching.  If it's not Sneaky Jesus Christ Superstar, don't even think about it...

Sneaky Jesus loves to watch you poop.

In The Beginning

Sneaky Jesus.  Two words that are seemingly unconnected, but when they are can absolutely freak people out.  Sneaky Jesus, not to be confused with the sex act that is so popular with kids these days (look it up, well worth it), is a movement.  It is a way of life.  Sneaky Jesus is, simply put, a way to creep people out easily and it can be quite rewarding.  In the upcoming days, Sneaky Jesus will be coming.  Is he behind you? Maybe.  But most likely he's watching you and you don't even know it.  Is this a religious thing to make people think more about Jesus? Absolutely not.  Sneaky Jesus' powers of creeping are only intended for evil.  Prepare to enter the world of Sneaky Jesus...